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He tasted it, not bad he thought, better than his. Now what? The girls would be gone for a while yet. She’d left the doors open and he heard her crying in the den. He tidied up, crossed through the kitchen, the living room toward the den in time to see her slam the den door shut. He heard the lock click shut. Normally he would have left it at that, but he wasn’t feeling normal. He tried fiddling with a credit card. He tried finagling the lock with a car key. He decided; what the fuck. He stepped back, and with all his might kicked the door; it collapsed like the shitty cheap Luann stuff it was. Something, he thought, a million dollar house with doors made of cheap crap.He looked around, but couldn’t see her. Then he did, she was on the floor hiding in the well of the desk. He walked over and around the desk, reached down, took her hands and pulled her up.She kept crying, “You can’t leave. You have to stay. You’re supposed to stay. I don’t know what I’ll do if you leave.”He picked her. In fact, mostly me. Which brings me to my next point. This Cold Turkey business is fucked up. The times I’ve gone to send you a text or e-mail, well you wouldn’t believe me. God knows how, but I resisted. Then I started thinking, where’s the harm in a few written messages or the odd phone call? I’m not going to ask you what you think because I know how much you wanted to maintain some contact. It was my choice to sever all contact and, being honest here, as hard as it’s been, it might still be the best option. I’m not sure that any renewed contact could remain platonic and at a distance. Honestly, Richard, do you? Think about it before you carry on reading. (I diverted my eyes from the screen and thought for a few seconds. I decided that some contact would be far better than this ball-aching nothingness. But would it stop there? Could I talk on the phone and not want to hold her, look into her eyes, make love to her, feel those petals parting for my tongue, my fingers and thick.
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